Plant a Wildflower, Expect a Garden

It was the second semester of my junior-year in 2016 when, for the first time, I found myself separated from my four closest college barkada for a major group project in BIO19 (Animal Physio). For three full years, we had moved as one unit. Being together was the default. We chose the same classes when we could, sat in familiar clusters during lectures, and navigate every group works side-by-side. Together, we thrived on shared chaos, inside jokes, and haphazard teamwork that somehow worked despite the odds.

This time, though, the universe (disguised as our favorite professor, Ma’am Jazz) had other plans in what seemed to be a clean, fair, strategic classroom shuffle. She would be the architect of the groupings, not us. She announced it with a gentle firmness that left no room for negotiation, no space for bargaining, no hint of mercy. So, when the groupings were revealed and our names landed elsewhere, the separation felt… mildly unsettling. This plot twist didn’t just rattle our own little circle, it also sent seismic events throughout every tight-knit friendships in class. All friend groups would be scattered. Comfort zones would be shaken loose.

Her logic for this breakup was crisp and strangely logical: we’d grown a little too dependent, a little too sequestered on our own exclusive circles. Even the top scorers in class had clustered together, creating little fortresses of talent. It was high time, she said, that the “powerhouses” are scattered among the class and redistribute the talent. It was perhaps a classroom revolution that, in its own wild unexpected way, changed how we all understood friendship… forever.

This wasn’t the usual “meet twice and submit” kind of group work. This demanded constant check-ins with our experiments, which meant seeing each other five or six days a week for the rest of the semester (i.e., even at night). Yet, in hindsight, it turned out far better than we imagined. Those long hours in the lab became fertile ground for new bonds to grow. Inch by inch, conversations sprouted, fondness took root, and fresh unexpected friendships soon began to bloom.

By the time we wrapped up the project and returned back to our original circles, an unexpected feeling settled in each of us—yearning? Yearning for the bonds we had, and the ones still waiting to grow. Those small, individual seeds of yearning eventually pulled us all in the same direction. So, we did the most sensible thing: come together to form a (much) bigger circle. Imagine scattered sprigs of flowers arranging themselves into one massive joyful bouquet. And on a fateful day in March 2017, as we capped our junior-year journey during a Recognition Program, that friendship found its name: Whiteflower.

Image credit: Mecyel Endrano

The name “Whiteflower” was likely a playful nod to Wildflower, a primetime TV hit of the time known for its dramatic twists, exaggerated over-the-top storylines, and occasional side plots so ridiculous they became instant memes. True enough, it was a name that captured just the right mix of flair, chaos, and charm; much like our newly bloomed friendship itself.

From that one wild twist of fate, worlds gently collided. From three separate circles, here we are—nearly a decade on—an inseparable, wildly insufferable bunch! And what began as fewer than fifteen back in March 2017 quietly grew into more than twenty now, like a garden left joyfully untamed, budding year after year as new faces settled in: some grafted in by love, others wandered close and were welcomed as honorary blooms. The once small garden became something fuller, wilder, and unmistakably alive. Somewhere along the way, we found ourselves present for nearly every proper adult milestone in each other’s lives; most if not all had attended four weddings, a christening, and even… an interment.

This space is for our dearest, most cherished Francis Abuid, or Abs, as we’d lovingly call him. It has been four years now, soon five on January 10th, since a vehicular accident took him in 2021. I/we celebrate his life as someone who looks at the world as unapologetically his. He lived his life as a wildlife and conservation biologist in the truest and selfless sense of the word. Renowned, but more than that; purposeful. He believed that caring for all wildlife was his glorious purpose. He was gentle, and he was fierce. He was a fighter, and a trailblazer. He was unstoppable. No tribute ever feels enough, but this much is certain: he was the truest friend anyone could have, right until the end. He cared so deeply, loved so intensely, and worried so thoughtfully. He was the best of us. And we miss him every day.

I know I speak for all of us when I say how immeasurably lucky we are to have been touched by Abs, to have had him plant seeds of love that we still carry and share. He was our whitest Whiteflower; both figuratively and, quite literally, so.

Just a year after his passing, a new plant species was named after him: Begonia francisabuidii. The lead author of the publication^1,2 said that the white flowers that bloomed from the B. francisabuidii species were as pure as the heart and dedication of Abs to inspire young learners to guard and conserve the biodiversity of the region. Begonia francisabuidii is endemic to Albay, and proposed as Critically Endangered; a fragile beauty, held so close to home.

Image credit: Taiwania

And so, “Whiteflower,” is more than just a silly wordplay now to call our group. It carries meaning now, and memory, and pride. I’m certain Abs would be so proud of us if he could see us now, slowly unfolding into who we are each becoming.

Fast forward today, having the opportunity to sit down together, listen to my friends talk, laugh, ramble, and reflect, I found myself thoroughly in awe. We all stepped into young adulthood carrying different fears, hopes, and timelines, yet each of us found our own footing and the way forward. Some paths were loud and bold, others gentle and winding, but all of them took courage. There were detours, pauses, wrong turns, and moments when we doubted ourselves, but there was also growth: real, hard-earned growth. I’ve actually went my way and took some notes of their wins this year to flex them to all of you reading this. This would be quite a long read, so please bear with me:

• April has just become a wife this year to one of the best family man, Bien. Several months into their marriage back in August, the couple has learned to communicate more openly, face challenges together, and still find moments to laugh even on heavy days. Married life with her husband has been a mix of learning, adjusting, and choosing each other every single day. It isn’t perfect, but that’s what makes it real. They’re growing not just as partners, but as individuals who now move as a team. Challenges that might have once pulled them apart have only made them stronger. And she takes pride in the marriage they are building: one rooted in patience, respect, and shared dreams, nurtured slowly, intentionally, and always with love;
• Breech faced a challenging past year, navigating waves of intense emotions that led her to seek the support she needed. This year, with care and perhaps the help of medication, she’s found a brighter, more positive mindset. Recovery hasn’t been perfectly linear, but she’s come a long way, and the progress is clear. On top of that, she landed a supportive, work-from-home job that has given her the space and balance she needed; capping her year on a truly well-deserved note;
• Camille devoted six meaningful years in a career she was deeply passionate about, making her decision to leave at the beginning of the year one of the hardest she had ever made. She left not because the passion was gone, but because she needed the space to pause and ask what truly mattered at that season of her life; especially within a system that took more than it nurtured. Choosing to stay home and support her husband, Kuya Dy, in his growing business felt uncertain at first. In time, however, it gave her room to heal, to grow, and to deepen the partnership they shared, opening her heart to a quieter, more grounded kind of fulfillment. Looking back, Camille sees it clearly now: it was never a step backward. It was a redirection, a form of protection, and one of the most loving choices she made for herself. In the clarity, she recognizes it as one of her greatest wins of the year;
• Clea, our unwavering and fiercely independent friend, is currently in the sun-kissed Seychelles, dedicating herself to supporting her family as an OFW. Though her work keeps her away from the precious moments with her son and Whiteflower’s very first little bud, Cael, her heart overflows with love. This year, she celebrates with gratitude and pride, recognizing her resilience despite of a whirlwind of demanding schedules, challenging work environment, and the ache of homesickness;
• Eliza feels a deep sense of pride as she reflects on surviving the first half of her medical clerkship this year. She has navigated the challenges and intensity of clinical life with courage and grace, learning firsthand its demands while discovering the strength and resilience within herself. Looking ahead, she embraces the journey with optimism, excited for her upcoming graduation from medical school next year and hopeful as she step into a larger role as a postgraduate intern, ready to embrace the independence and opportunities that lie ahead with it;
• Emerson’s year unfolded as a powerful celebration of freedom. It was the year freedom finally took tangible form for him. His deployment by the DOH to serve as a doctor to the barrio in Masbate arrived not merely as an assignment, but an affirmation that his years of discipline, sacrifice, and perseverance finally came into fruition. In this place of service, he found purpose rooted in compassion, and with it came a sense of financial stability that lifted long-standing barriers. For the first time, he could provide generously and return kindness to his family and friends with a full heart, not out of obligation, but out of abundance. Beyond the professional and material, this year also carried a deep personal acknowledgement. It’s the year where he finally embraced his sexuality, with each step a journey toward self-expression and in connecting with the world from a place of openness and honesty. This was his year of becoming: of standing firmly in service, in love, and in self-respect. A year that affirmed he is exactly where he is meant to be;
• Gerard’s year has been one of gentle alignment and quiet release. A season where what belonged found its place and what no longer served him softly drifted away. As a physician, he stepped back from two hospitals that no longer aligned with his heart, released himself from a toxic situationship, and experienced a deep, steady joy in giving back to his family and church, one that left him deeply fulfilled. Each change felt less like a loss and more like tender invitations from God, guiding him toward what truly nurtures him. The year was also marked by a milestone he cherishes: his very first international trip. An experience that sparked him excitement and a promise to make travel a yearly celebration;
• Jacquelyn just recently celebrated her dream wedding yesterday, finally stepping into married life with her husband Mico after six wonderful years together. Their journey, filled with shared laughter and countless memories, reached a new milestone as they joined their lives in a heartfelt ceremony surrounded by loved ones. Mico has been a wonderful addition to the Whiteflower, bringing with him a warmth and energy that blends seamlessly with Jacky’s fearless spirit. The celebration of their love was more than just a personal milestone; it was a moment that reminded everyone at Whiteflower of the promise that this group will continue to grow;
• Je earned his well-deserved promotion this year and secured a permanent assignment as a high school teacher in Daraga, not just any teacher though, but one of the four pioneering educators shaping the heart of this new school. This assignment fulfills everything he had hoped for: it’s close to home, surrounded by a supportive work environment, and offers a smooth, welcoming transition into this exciting chapter. As if that weren’t enough, Je also received his acceptance into a PhD program, opening doors to even greater opportunities. On a more personal front, he delights in the ease and joy of being deeply in love with his girlfriend, Shai, with hopes of planning a wedding soon and eventually welcoming little versions of themselves;
• Johann decided to took a brave and deeply personal step away from the usual path of traditional medicine, choosing instead to follow a path that truly resonated with him. Now, looking back, he’s grateful that he allowed himself to take that leap of faith;
• Josh, our beloved honorary member, who earned his place simply by being endlessly reliable, wonderfully versatile, and easily the most outgoing person you’ll ever meet. This year, he’s had the opportunity to explore multiple destinations, investing in and collecting memories both local and abroad, embracing life with the same fearless, independent spirit that makes him who he is. And to celebrate it all, he also reached a remarkable milestone: a well-deserved promotion to regular faculty at National University’s Mall of Asia campus;
• Marielle’s year was a beautiful journey of release and transformation. This year, she finally embraced the art of letting go, stepping gently away from her old habit of needing to be in control. She allowed life to unfold in its own rhythm, trusting that everything would unfold just as it should. It wasn’t always easy—to break from habit takes both courage and patience. But in doing so, she discovered the quiet joy and freedom that come from surrender. Marielle discovered a new kind of freedom: a lightness in simply being, rather than always doing… and that was the most rewarding thing of all;
• Mec, like Eliza, began his clerkship this year with a mix of anxiety and uncertainty. This experience became a turning point to him, revealing the realities of clinical life and testing his resolve as a medical student. Yet, as the year unfolded, he gradually found his footing and gained his momentum. He takes pride in the trust placed in him, handling responsibilities with growing confidence. Now, having surpassed the first half of his clerkship, he can look back and know that every challenge was worth it;
• Moneth this year finally reached her savings goals! And despite the silent battles, the exhausting days, and the struggles no one sees, she’s still moving forward, still breathing, and still feeling grateful. Somehow, even amidst these challenges, life still feels a little brighter, and that quiet sense of blessing is something she carries with her;
• Raena’s year was a journey of healing and reclaiming her sense of self. In the previous years, her mental state had felt like an unrelenting shadow, quietly pulling her focus away from her studies and stealing the simple joys of being present in the moment. This year, however, she began reclaiming her sense of self, step by step, with patience and care. Much of this renewal was partly because of her super supportive boyfriend (her unexpected blessing) who offered unwavering warmth and encouragement during the darker moments. While the path ahead for her may still hold challenges, with him by her side, they make a pretty good team;
• Rosh finally graduated from her degree in International Diploma in Childhood Education last July, and this month she received the most exciting news that her post-graduate visa was granted; giving her the chance to further continue her journey and stay in Australia a little longer;
• Rositte celebrates motherhood this year with her most adorable firstborn, Hannah. Whiteflower’s own pretty little flower bud. Motherhood has brought her the ultimate healing she long waited, mending deep, old wounds from childhood. This year for her is one of gratefulness, faith, and grace: for God, who has walked beside her through every trial, whispering reassurance that she was never truly alone; for her husband Ian, whose steadfast love quietly rebuilt her hope; and for Hannah, whose very presence transformed the bitter past into a hopeful future. The past years for her had been a season of trials and sacrifice, but together as a family, in Hannah’s laughter, in Ian’s unwavering partnership, and in the gentle unfolding of each new day, Rositte finds the grace of healing, hope, and the soft, enduring joy of love made whole again;
• And here’s also to Randolph and Veyari, and to the new flowers joining our growing circle over the years: Kuya Dy, Bien, Mico Rey, Ian, Shai, and our sweetest flower buds, baby Cael and baby Haki. May there be many more flowers, and mini flowers, yet to come in the years ahead;
• As for myself, I don’t want to make this blog go longer as it is, I’m just really grateful that I finally earned my Master’s degree this year, and met someone who inspires me—a seventh Muse perhaps?

I realized, softly and all at once, how deeply rewarding this year has been for each of us. 2025 felt like a year of quiet wins and celebrations, of growing into ourselves without too much force. It reminded us to be thankful, to pause and reflect, to be brave when we could and, most of all, to simply be who we are. If these reunions had any purpose, it was to show us that the people we were about ten years ago are here to stay: just as chaotic, just as unabashed, only now a little more candid, happier, braver, and far freer. Being together again made it clear that we are each other’s refuge. In one another’s company, we build quiet safe spaces where everyone is allowed to exist as they are, to feel at home in their own skin, and to live their truth.

Image credit: Mecyel Endrano

But isn’t it demanding to keep friendships afloat these days? Let alone twenty of them at once?!

In some ways, yes. Some friendships do need constant tending, the kind that asks for regular care, attention, and time, like plants that need frequent watering to grow. Distance, of course, makes this even harder. But our friendship has always been different. We were never strangers to distance; in fact, it was where we began. Remember? Maybe that’s why our roots grew deeper than most: deep enough to find their own water, even when we’re far apart. Our friendship is self-sustaining, I might argue, held together by bonds you can’t see but can always feel, no matter the distance. And it shows. After a decade of friendship, it still feels just the same, carrying the same warmth and ease it always has.

There is a quiet strength in platonic love. It has made me realize that this kind of love is not secondary to romantic love, but essential in its own right. Romantic partnerships are often placed on a pedestal, yet love flows through many other channels, just as meaningful and just as sustaining. So much is lost when we fail to recognize and lean into these other forms of love. Perhaps this is why it feels so astonishing how, despite our full and demanding lives, as doctors, teachers, wives, mothers, and young professionals finding our way, we still continue to show up for one another’s most important chapters. That consistency and effort says everything about how deeply this friendship is valued… No, no longer just friendship. Family. This is family now. We are a family.

And so, as we close another year together, as a family, we look ahead and toast for abundance, for strength, and for a garden that remains full, alive, and always in bloom, season after season. Cheers!

Happy New Year, everyone!

(Camalig, 12/2025)